Lincoln Stories Tersely Told
by J. E.
Pub. in 1898
The Dandy, The Bugs And The President.
President Lincoln appointed as consul to a South American country a young man from Ohio who was a dandy. A wag met the new appointee on his way to the White House to thank the President. He was dressed in the most extravagant style. The wag horrified him by telling him that the country to which he was assigned was noted chiefly for the bugs that abounded there and made life unbearable. "They’ll bore a whole clean through you before a week has passed," was the comforting assurance of the wag as they parted at the White House steps. The new consul approached Lincoln with disappointment clearly written all over his face. Instead of joyously thanking the President he told him the wag’s story of the bugs. "I am informed, Mr. President," he said, "that the place is full of vermin and they could eat me up in a week’s time." "Well, young man," replied Lincoln, "if that’s true all I’ve got to say is that if such a thing happened they would leave a mighty good suit of clothes behind."